Okay, so I skipped day one with the blogging. But I can tell you about it now.

Day 1 was “unique”. While I made a conscious effort to eat healthier, I did end up having 3 corn-dogs. But considering my diet from the day before, this is a huge improvement.

Today (day 2) has brought another challenge. I started Yoga. I would like to be the first to say that yoga is NOT for sissy’s! Good lord! I think I more closely resembled a fish flopping around on the floor than somebody doing yoga. A couple of times, I couldn’t even get up! I had to just lay there! It’s amazing how well gravity works when you have almost 300 pounds holding you to it! But not only did I get through 30 minutes of yoga, I also backed that up with 30 minutes of regular exercise. Lunges, sit ups, stuff like that.

I have to say that I feel pretty good after that. I don’t typically get very sore after exercise. I never have. So I guess I’m lucky that way. The truth is, I used to be very thin. I even modeled for a while. I guess you could say I’ve come a long way in the wrong direction. But that’s the great thing about directions. You can always try a different one.

 So today, I’m going to get dressed and go grocery shopping. I’m taking my Ayurvedic books with me for suggestions on the appropriate foods for my dosha. This should be interesting.

I guess the one thing that’s really keeping me going, is the thought of my son (5 months old) picking up on my bad habits and ending up in my situation. You see, I’m pre-diabetic, and have had high blood pressure for almost 3 years now. I’m on medication, but boy, would I love to stop taking that stuff! I hate being on long term medication. Especially since I’m such a believer in natural remedies. But what can you do.

Well, I’m off to the store. Wish me luck!

I’ve received some very nice words of encouragement after my last post. So thank you everyone.

The thing is, when you’re fat, you have to turn your entire life around. Find a whole new lifestyle. That’s the hard part. You get so set in your ways, that bad habits become routine.

So I’m trying something new…. again!

I’m going to try Ayurveda, yoga, the whole Zen thing. I’m gonna see if I can bend myself into a pretzel. Ha! That should be interesting at my weight! Everything I’ve read about Ayurveda sounds like it will really help. So we’ll see. I’ll keep you posted!

And thanks again, everyone!

What can I say. I’m fat. I don’t know how it happened, or where it came from, but it did, and I am. It’s amazing how it creeps up on you. You live in denial, make sure there are no full length mirrors in the house, comfort yourself with food, and suddenly wake up one morning to realize you more closely resemble a water buffalo than your original self.

So what do you do? Especially when you are so buried in denial that you can’t even really “see” the fat in the mirror. I mean, it’s there, you’re staring at it, but you don’t really see it. You tell yourself it’s not so bad, and you still look like you always did.

Then, you step on the scale, (one of those scales that has the little dials that go around) and the darn thing ends up right back at Zero. Yes, that’s right, that little dial went ALL the way around just to tell me in a coughing, hacking little voice that I need to get right back off again, so it can breath. I do, and the little dial swings wildly back into place.

What a place to be in. I feel lost. There’s so much information out there, how do you know which path to follow? I’ve tried every diet under the sun. I really believe that a persons weight is in direct proportion to the number of diet books on their bookshelves. The more diet books, the fatter you are. Not sure how that works either, but it seems to be true for most.

I have to laugh at myself when I find myself in a book store, buying yet another diet book, while trying to balance an ice cream cone in one hand and sign the credit slip with the other. Or when I drown myself in a bag of chips while reading a fitness magazine. Am I the only one that does that? I guess I figure if I keep reading about diet and exercise, eventually it will rub off.

 I’m still waiting…